Deacy's moose knuckle

Deacy's moose knuckle

Howdy there! I'm Kelly, I'm from West Virginia, & I post mostly Queen, Doctor Who, & random-ass reblogs that I find funny. I will not automatically follow-back; I'll click your name & if I like what I see on your blog, I might follow. I'm not snooty or anything; I'm already following over 200 people & I'd like to cut my scrolling time waaaay down.

Some general rules: 1) I won't give anyone my phone number, address, last name, or current exact location unless you're my good IRL friend. 2) If you're going to send me anon hates to get your rocks off at my reaction, sorry but I don't play that game; I'll either kindly yet humorously reply to your hatred, or ignore it entirely. 3) If you hate LGBTs, minorities, or religious beliefs other than your own, you can unfollow me right now. If you post something against 1 of those groups, I will likely unfollow you. I'm not giving this warning due to a superiority complex; I just don't want you to be surprised if that happens.

thefrogman:

[beaconnews]

is that…
is that the gay pride police?

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diaaaamond:

toxiccunts:

wukristina:

alexander-oppa:

ryannxp:

markerdemon:

skinny-depression:

fucking powerful. and unfortunately true

Tall people are assholes.

Tall people are assholes.

I don’t think it meant that tall people are assholes. I think it means that as you get older and older the more pain and suffering you’re put through, the more you learn to trust people less and less and you begin to grow into a selfish human being. You stop letting people in to your life and stop loving. You forget what love is since you’ve gone through life being ignored and taken advantage of.

Tall people are assholes.

Yeah tall people are assholes

True, but also, paper white, faceless people are born with their hearts outside of their bodies, yet still manage to live into adulthood apparently.

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zealotarchaeologist:

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

we need to send hank venture that scale asap

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bigeisamazing:

ronaldreagay:

laughing cow cheese huh?

I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

I wanna see the Laughing Cow laughing as it’s being milked.

Like hahahaha i got you fuckers to rub my titties this is the good life all the heiffahs say wuuuttt

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" Male privilege is “I have a boyfriend” being the only thing that can actually stop someone from hitting on you because they respect another male-bodied person more than they respect your rejection/lack of interest. "

The Sociological Cinema

There was actually research that was done that found that women who used an “I have a boyfriend/husband” excuse to reject unwanted sexual attention and harassment by their bosses were more likely to be left alone than those who used any other excuse (including “I’m not interested”)

(Source: queerintersectional)

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5pock:

elton john suffocating a small child to steal its life force so that he may become young again

“Turn away, you fools! Back into the cage! All who see the demon must be consumed by him.”
Four of the sacrificial Billies run to their filthy, metal cage. Two of them remain with Elton, their necks caught in his weakening yet still inhuman grasp. He poisons the air with arcane words never graced by the light of day; a circle of fire surrounds the three.
He lets go of the cowering Billies & approaches the altar: a black-thorned pedestal smeared with centuries of blood and ash. Atop this macabre sight sits a cake of offering. Elton knows the demon that sleeps inside the altar can only rejuvenate him if it tastes of his potency - his virility. The cake, putrid as it is up close, appears like an ordinary cake to the starving children. They approach the altar willingly, at first….
The demon has been deemed Rocket Man by humanity. The first to discover the hellion called it The Jets after the innumerable plumes of flame it shoots from its maw. Dangerous as it is, an alliance of soldiers and Benedictine monks managed to trap the beast inside this thorned altar. There, centuries later, a monk discovered that Rocket Man would shoot out a fuse-like cascade of fire every 15 years, hoping some poor soul would be there for it to consume. More importantly to the monk, if it was fed a child, it would grant its servant youth and vigor.

In 1973, an up and coming performer named Elton John came to this all but abandoned monastery to ask for guidance concerning his career. He made the same discovery as the monk before him. The ancient yet youthful monk tried to kill Elton, but he was overpowered and left to rot in a corner of the room.
Now that Elton was attractive and strong, he decided to ensure he would never run out of children to feed his eldritch rejuvenator. He composed a commanding song with subliminal messages, telling children named Bennie to come to the monastery, where he would keep them until their fiery death. Elton chose only Bennies in honor of the Benedictine monk who led him to this boon.
By 1986, all children named Bennie were dead, so Elton composed yet another enticing melody - “Billy and the Kids”. As of yet, there are still a few Billies left in the world, notably Billy Joel. It’s now obvious why they had such a bitter feud. If Joel were but a little younger, Elton may have sacrificed him long ago.

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fapwizard:

g-d damn I was watching the blurred lines video for the 50th time and his face look at his fucking face

this is literally the most egotistical music video ever. every 3 seconds (not even exaggerating) “#BLURRED LINES” & “#THICKE” flash on the screen in huge red font. like how do you get more ridiculous than that?

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samuelshakusky:

when i was in fourth grade we were doing a math lesson and all of a sudden the teachers like “have you ever seen a pregnant bird” and everyones jsut like “no” and then she slams her hand on the table and screams “THATS BECAUSE THEY DONT EXIST” AND ONE KID IN THE BACK JUST BLURTS OUT “WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH MATH”

But you still never see them all fat from having an egg inside them.

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